Cheesecake Factory and more

About a month ago I had a chance to go to the new pride of Green Hills, the Cheesecake Factory. Since it was a Saturday night for dinner, that means I'm still waiting for a table. Not really, but when we arrived, we were informed that the wait would be 55 to 70 minutes. I hate it when wait times more closely resemble speed limits.

The good news was this gave us time to take the factory tour. The tour guide had us get onto the 32-seat tram, and we all had safety glasses. (Chocolate sprinkles to the eye can cause more damage than you realize.) We rode past the large vats of processed cream cheese, the conveyor belts of graham cracker crust, the gears that compacted fruit toppings and the industrial turbines that mixed all of the ingredients together.

When it was done, I was able to buy a sandwich for $12.
***
This is just odd.
To fool myself into thinking that I'm eating healthy, often I'll order a side salad from the fast food or take out restaurant. Three times this week, I was given two packets of salad dressing for my side salad instead of one. I never ask for two. Has walking with a bad back changed my demeanor that much? I should call Art Bell.
***
With recent health issues, I've had a chance to catch up on a lot of TV shows. One of the all-time popular television gimmick is the "Will they, Won't they" tension between a male character and a female character and if they will ever hook up.

Despite how it used to be a straight up police procedural drama, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit has taken that turn this year. Of course the "Will they, Won't they" tension is between Det. Stabler and his wife.
***
If I ever open my own restaurant, I'll name the flagship item on the dessert menu Asphyxiation by Chocolate.
***
Fun photo:

Ice skating right now would be a bad idea.
***
This post is sponsored by the Wilmington Greeting Card Co., maker of fine cards and gifts for all occasions. They remind you that Cousin's Day is coming up soon on the first Sunday in June. If you don't buy all of your cousins a card for Cousin's Day, it shows that you don't care.

2516

The Joy of Gatlinburg!

I promise that this is not going to become "How I spent my Summer Vacation!" I just thought I would share some of the quirky stuff I saw in Gatlinburg.

Let's get the scenic Smoky Mountain pictures out of the way.



Now, on to the good stuff. If you're going to actually stay in Gatlinburg, you should already have a reasonable expectation of having to endure tourist trapiness. For a short while, I can live through it, and in fact, I can take pleasure in the silly things which abound.

For the rich tourist, I submit the Gatlinburg Alpaca Store!

Out there somewhere is a professional alpaca shaver. They take that alpaca fur and make various items, such as:
1)Sweaters
2)Blankets
3)Pillows
4)Alpacas!
The display model costs several hundred dollars.



Our vacation was going well until this dinosaur smashed through a wall and ate us.


The reviews weren't kidding when they said the Calzones at "The Best Italian Restaurant" (name not changed) were the largest you've ever seen.


I forget if it was the Incans or the Mayans, but one of those ancient civilizations carved this guy on a Harley.


This Hermit Crab has street cred and mad skillz on the court!


In the wild, Black Bears have been known to eat their young.


5 stalks = wealth. I suppose that's some kind of feng shui madness, but it's not working for the shop owner, as they had to put this at half price. O, the irony.

It's not possible to declare the worts tourist attraction in Gatlinburg, but the World of Illusion has to make everyone's short list.

It's incredibly mystifying how they haven't changed their poster since abut 1983.If you're not quite sure which attraction I'm talking about, it's the one that has a Neo and Trinity from the Matrix life-size figure out front. A few years back, they had Captain Picard. They have a couple of neat illusions outside. You pay the $7 admission and you see a couple of neat illusions on the inside and then it's over and you're back on the street. The illusion was they were able to separate you from your money and they did it without mirrors.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Impaled apples.


Make your own joke here.

Now, on to something that's not quite funny. In Pigeon Forge, you have the privilege to pay to see a sad animal.

For $3, you can see a depressed black bear in a cage in a bear pit. I'm not the kind of guy that thinks all caged animals at the zoo should be freed into the wild, but at the black bear pits in Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge and Cherokee, NC, I don't believe this is the best possible home for these creatures. For an extra few dollars, you can purchase a cup of apples, but the bears don't really feel like eating. The guy at this place told me that his bears are treated better than the ones at Ober Gatlinburg. I hope that's not true but it probably is.

Deciphering Real Estate Jargon

My wife and I have been house hunting for a few months now. We have seen some good homes, but there have been a share of lousy ones also. At one time, all of those lousy houses were bought by someone. I've seen several homes that make me wonder who would ever buy such a place, and I think that a sweet talking selling agent was probably involved.

Here are some types of home heating systems I've come across in the local listings:
Electric heat pump
Natural Gas
Radiant Heat
Coal Furnace
What? A coal furnace? People still use those? Do these people have to open their windows and stay in the shade as their only method of cooling in the summer?

A good real estate agent can still sell that house heated by coal and cooled by open windows, and the listing would probably say something like this:
Quaint, Victorian-era Cape Cod style home in a historic neighborhood with mature trees. Once in a lifetime opportunity!

Pretty soon, it becomes apparent that the problems with a house have to become sugar-coated so that they sound like features. However, once you look at the local listings for three months, like I have, you'll become a grizzled veteran and learn to see right through these home-buying euphemisms. If you're just starting your house hunt, let me be you're guide. I'll put the real estate jargon in bold, and follow it with my translation in italics.

Cozy
small

Charming
cozy and old

Storybook
not happily ever after.

Low Maintenance
Low acreage. You'll be able to shake hands with your neighbor from inside your bedroom.

Established Neighborhood
Only poor people live in the neighborhood.

Desirable Neighborhood
Only snobby people live in the neighborhood.

Convenient to Interstate
convenient to traffic

Convenient to shopping
convenient to noise

Convenient to everything
convenient to traffic and noise

Unfinished basement
unusable basement

Wooded, Private Back Yard
Unusable land, unless you're trying to breed ticks

Corner lot
Noise from cars on two sides of your house, not just one.

Near the lake!
you won't be allowed to go through your neighbors yard to get to the lake.

Great view!
steep yard (and hard to mow.)

Privacy fence
lousy neighbors

Florida room
fancy name for a sunroom, which itself is a fancy name for a small room with a small sky light and a couple of windows

French Doors
fancy name for double doors

Garden Tub
fancy name for a jacuzzi with low water pressure for one person.

Pond
fancy name for a puddle

Vaulted ceilings
expensive to heat in the winter.

Neutral Colors
boring (inoffensive) colors

Professional Colors
Unnecessarily expensive paint

Features smoke alarms
Dude, there are no features if they highlight something that costs $25 at Wal-Mart.

Great Value for the Square Footage
modular

A lot of house for the money!
rough neighborhood

Priced to sell!
Seller wants out of the neighborhood.

Great starter home!
Experienced homeowner would avoid

Price Reduced!
Someday, you'll have trouble selling it, too.

A Steal at this price!
A home not worth stealing.

Bring all offers!
Eventually, the bank will get around to picking an offer they like.

Won't last long!
A lot of people have already looked at the house, and none of them wanted to make an offer.

Shows well!
The major problems do not become apparent until you see it in person.

Must See inside!
The outside looks bad.

Foreclosure
The current homeowner doesn't care about your needs.

Handyman's special!
Consider this your second job.

Sold As-Is
Danger, Will Robinson!

Needs some TLC!
previous owner abused house.

Better than new!
Higher asking price than new.

Buyer to verify Square Footage
Selling agent is lazy, they have more important homes to worry about.

Call for price!
otherwise, you'd immediately reject it.

Seller to pay closing costs with approved lender.
The lender will pass those costs on to you, in the form of fees, points and interest. The bank is not running a charity.

Unlimited Potential!
Will frustrate you to no end.

Happy house hunting! :)

2494

Published photo #2

I now have a second photo in print, however it was the first one I granted approval for, and I made some mistakes. I've noticed that there are people who are publishing books and are looking to get something for nothing. The author of this particular book asked if she could use my photo for free, and if I said no, she'd have asked someone else until someone was willing. I'll admit that it is easy to do for something oft photographed, like the Knoxville Sunsphere. Here's my photo of the Sunsphere in all of it's brass/bronze/fool's gold glory.



If I said yes to the request, I wouldn't get paid anything for it. If I said no, I'd still not get anything out of it. At first, it seems a little unfair, especially since it's a book of photos. (This could be quite a business model. Find a bunch of photos you could print for free and then print up a bunch of coffee table books to be sold for $49.95 apiece.) However, it was the first time I was approached to be in a book, and I thought it would be cool to say I was in a book. Besides, I put a Creative Commons license on most of my photos which allows people to use my photos for free in a not for profit way, so who knows how many of my pictures are lurking out there used in a way I don't know about. By egosurfing, I know about these 50 which have been used by someone somehow, mostly on the web.

(funny yet unrelated side-note about egosufing: The first time I had ever seen it done was at a weird job interview when I was just out of college, and it was done by the interviewer. He also told me he often smoked pot with Crosby, Stills & Nash. Quite a funny story and I might tell it here someday. In the unlikely event that I am ever asked to give a chapel talk at Lipscomb, I will draw from this event. A sermon-ette outline has been crafted in my mind for about 7 years. But, I digress...)

Here's the big mistake I made with this published photo: I failed to ask for a complimentary copy of the finished product. I have since been asked to provide photos for 4 books since and now I always expect a freebie. (Scratch my previous idea for a great business model; I've got a new idea: Find a bunch of photos you could print for free and then print up a bunch of coffee table books to be sold for $49.95 apiece. Then, don't give away any of them for free and everyone who submitted a photo will want to buy one themselves and their family. It's a new variant on the Who's Who book scam. Anyone want to donate $10,000 to help me start a project?)


I just don't feel right to pay for a book that I made a contribution to. The book has been available for purchase for a couple of months now. Now, Thanks to Amazon.com and their "search inside this book" feature, I can see the finished product and not have to pay for it. Here is the cover of the book, and my photo which appears on page 25.



This particular book is in a series of books by Arcadia Publishing called Images of America. The series, several of which I have looked at, contains over 2900 books, all of which deal with local history and tell the story through usually vintage pictures and their captions. This book is about the Knoxville Zoo and the author is Sonya Haskins. I'm not going to buy the book anytime soon, but it's available new with a list price of $19.99 ($15,99 on Amazon.) If you click on my picture, you can see why a sunsphere picture was used. Essentially, the zoo was hoping the tens of thousands of people coming to the Knoxville World's Fair of 1982 would help zoo attendance, but it actually hurt attendance.

Now, here's the happy ending: Despite me not asking for a copy of the book, a representative from the company saw this blog post and offered to send me a free copy, when they didn't have to do. I really appreciate the classy move on the part of Arcadia Publishing. In the meantime, I am waiting on 4 other books which are using my photos and will send me a copy.

16th Century Olde English Compliment

Loosely translates to "You Rock My Socks Off!"

A Myspace Musician Experiment

About 5 years ago, I bought for me and my wife some music creation software, Sonic Foundry's Acid Music 3.0. With Acid, you mostly use royalty-free music samples that loop. It is quite simple to make electronica/techno music using this software. My wife will still make a song every once in a while, and has made hundreds over the years. On the other hand, I made about a dozen songs, and I am rather proud of them.

If you want to be a serious turntablist, you have to give yourself a DJ name. I am not a serious turntablist, but thought it would be cool to still have a DJ name. The first idea was DJ Diego. Back in my high school days, I had three nicknames that didn't really stick well. The first was "Cro" which was published in the school paper when I was a freshman. I asked the story's author what it meant, and she didn't know; she had just heard it being used by the seniors. I still don't know what it meant. The second nickname came from Justin. He called me Barysh, which was short for Mikhail Baryshnikov, the famous Russian Ballet dancer. I don't know why. My third nickname was Diego, which was my "Spanish name" in Mrs. Galloway's high school Spanish class. Thus, DJ Diego. This sounded better than DJ Cro or DJ Barysh.

But, I stopped liking the name. Diego is sort of a common name in Mexico. There could already be a couple hundred DJ Diegos out there. I wanted a unique name that was goofy enough to fit my personality, and DJ Flapjack stuck. Plus, I could see a pancake on a record player.

Fast forward to October 2006. I was out of work, and I've always wanted to hear some of my songs online. I was curious just how many hits I would get if I created a myspace band profile. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it right. I spent a day creating a profile icon, as well as an album cover and singles.

On October, 26, 2006, the DJ Flapjack Myspace profile was born.

as I said, I made a profile icon I could be proud of:



An album cover:



I was presumptuous enough to assume I'd have a gold or a platinum album from this faux greatest hits cd. Platinum is the only element in focus.

Then, I made three singles covers using some of my photos to go along with three of the songs I put on the myspace profile.



"We Call it a Carhole" is a B-side which is not online. The title came a a Moe quote on the Simpsons, which has nothing to do with the song. The picture is at "Blue Hole" at Greeter Falls park.



This was inspired by the periodic table. Osmium is a rare metal which is also the heaviest metal. Likewise, the song was as close to Heavy Metal as I was going to get with a loop-based song creator and no actual musical talent. The picture is a train car filled with scrap metal and it was in the parking lot at LP Field.



Finally, there was Dustbin. If you've visited my MySpace Profile up until about a month ago, this was my profile song. I don't have musical talent, but I have a smidgen of audio editing talent, and was able to sample the two big Queen hits Another one Bites the Dust and We Will Rock You. This track needs to be polished, but I've always liked it. By the way, the "Dustbin" photo was taken at Fort Negley, if you know your Nashville Civil War history.

All that was left for me to do on my profile, I added a record album Contact Table, said my home is NashVega$ and my indie record label is Waxy Buildup Records. As it turns out, there already was a DJ Flapjack on myspace, so for the URL, I decided to sound all official and use /theoneandonlyflapjack/

I sent friend requests to a few high profile artists so that it wouldn't be blatantly obvious that it was me. It was also really tough to not tell any of you that I had done this.

So How did I do?
Friends:
1) Tom
2) Me - DJ Flapjack has been my #14 friend for a while.
3) MariLynn
4) I created a similar band profile for MariLynn's music, and we've never done anything with it. I called that profile MixMasterMary. This completes the Waxy Buildup Records all star lineup.
Musicians I sent friend requests to:
5) Fatboy Slim
6) Moby
7) Black Eyed Peas
8) Mighty Dub Katz
9) Armand van Helden
and these Acid-usable sample creators:
10) Peace Love Productions
11) XMIX Productions
It should be noted that my friend request was denied by Gnarls Barkley.

Fast-forward 6 months. I've gotten 7 friend requests:
12) Tokyo Flash - an agent (who also says he was an Olympic Champion!)
13) OLSPUR - this nice guy, also a musician, is the only guy to actually talk to me.
14) Ninjatron
15) Reality Serum - the last 2 are bands
16) Bird's Eye Media - a remix studio
17) Fatboy Slim Freak! - a fanclub, I suppose
18) Angie - just someone who wanted a bunch a friends.

In these 6 months, I've also had 100 profile views and 193 song plays. You can send me a friend request, or don't, it doesn't matter to me. :)

2449

When Chrismas Carols discuss baseball strikes

The Major League Baseball player strike that ruined the 1994 season didn't end until after the owners tried to fill rosters with replacements for Spring Training in 1995. Generally, these players were either retired players, not good enough to make the majors, or were scabs that crossed the virtual picket line. At the time, I changed Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to:

Rudolph, Replacement Ranger

You know Masher, and Mancer, and Lancer and Smitten,
Plummet, and Stupid, and Fodder and Nixon.
But do you recall the least famous Ranger of all?

Rudolph, Replacement Ranger
Had an oft bleeding nose
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say, "He's Slow!"

All of the other Rangers
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
Play in any Ranger games.

Then, one smoggy Summer day,
Coach Oates came to say,
Rudolph with your glove on tight,
Won't you play right field tonight?

Now, all the Rangers hate him
After drawing called strike three.
Rudolph, Replacement Ranger
Now lives in obscurity.

2428

My First Published Photo and more

I have allowed a few of my pictures uploaded onto flickr to be used by various publications, but this is the first to be printed an arrive in my hands. They were nice enough to send two copies.



The is the May/June 2007 issue of Travelgirl Magazine and it appears on page 20. It appears in a section on places to visit this summer, and my photo accompanies the snippet on Rock City.



*****

In other news...
Fun photo of the week.
How can you tell if a Redneck lives near an airport?



The only thing missing from this 727 is it being propped up on cinder blocks. This is only a few blocks from the Smyrna airport (MQY), and of my friends who are familiar with Smyrna, only one of them knew about this. What I find odd is that SunCountry flies nowhere near here.

Random thoughts while suffering back pain

So, I woke up on Monday to go to work, heated up some food, sat in front of the computer, and proceeded to have some of the worst back pain ever. Since then, I have been bed-ridden except for the times I have been taken to the friendly, neighborhood chiropractor. I like everyone in their office, and I have visited them for various reasons over the past 15 years, or so.

Before I left for my first visit, I expected to have to tap in to my home equity mortgage because, let's face it, medical insurance doesn't like paying for chiropractor visits. I could go to the ER for a hangnail, they'd charge $75 for an x-ray and $50 for a tetanus shot, and after a copay, insurance will cover it. A doctor could go to school for many years, and specialize in any body part, such as the uvula, and as long as that part isn't he back, it's considered a legitimate medical practice covered by insurance.

My previous medial insurance hasn't always been the best. One employer offered two plans: the bronze plan and the tin plan. They were so horrible, that I almost wanted to self insure, but in the outside chance I'd have to be fitted for an Iron lung the rest of my life, I needed something to defray one third of that cost.

My current employer's insurance offerings are a little better. I was offered the Gold plan, Platinum Plan and the Rhodium plan. It is my understanding that the Blue Cross / Blue Shield metallurgists are currently developing a Palladium plan. My first chiropractor office visit amassed a cost of $175, and before I had to consider selling a kidney, I was relieved to hear that my insurance will actually cover everything but a $10 copay. Hooray!

I can partially understand some insurance resistance to certain chiropractors. There are a few places that might try to heal rickets with foot massages, copper bracelets and beeswax candle aroma therapy. If you have a doctor like this, I strongly suggest you read into the placebo effect.

My doctor's office uses state of the art medical equipment, and to be honest, I'm not sure I really believe any of it actually works, but my doctor has been studying these techniques for a while, and I believe her competency. Plus, if my insurance is going to pay for it, and it will make me feel better, bring it on. I have been suffering from a slipped disk in the lower part of my back. They told me the "traction machine" was made for this kind of thing. I just know that the technology has been adapted from some form of Medieval torture device. however, the whole time I'm in it, there's no pain, and once I'm out of it, the pain returns. (When it comes to relieve lower back trauma, NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!) The slipped disk has caused muscle swelling in the immediate area. My second treatment is shock therapy. Not really, but the Interferential therapy sends an electrical pulse through the area.

While I've been at home, I've been pretty bored, and anything other than lying down is uncomfortable. This makes the timing particularly bad because we've already packed all the fun time-wasting stuff for our upcoming move to another house. This includes all the dvd's, VHS, CDs, books and board games - everything but the computers, radio and TV. I think I've watched about 20 Law and Orders by now. I even caught an episode of Sledge Hammer. In the 80's, I never realized how stupid that show was.

I have had ample time to do two things this week:
1)Think
2)Type on my laptop.
Here's what's been on my mind during the week:
*****
In this segment, I will make fun of junk catalogs that appear in my mailbox.



Our Sweaters are so bright, you'll get a headache just by looking at it!
*****
I have a tv show idea for PBS, or that network that runs in public schools these days that I missed out on. It would be called NUMB3RS Jr. (USA working title: Numb3rs Babies.) Here's an excerpt:

Scene: school playground
Davey: Someone on the playground stole half of Willie's grilled cheese sandwich.
Little Colby: I've spoken to the girls on the swings and they didn't see anything.
Donnie: Okay, canvas the monkey bars. If only we knew what half of a grilled cheese sandwich looks like.
Baby Charlie: I may be able to determine the shape of half of a grilled cheese sandwich using laws of geometry.
Amita: What if we construct a slice of bunny bread and replicate cutting it from the upper left corner to the lower right corner?
Donnie: Great. Keep me updated on your progress.
Young Fleinhardt: Your cooties are trivialized by the expanse of the stars.
Meg: You're so cute!
*****
Certain Republicans who want Fred Thompson to run for President think he will be helped because of his character, New York DA Arthur Branch. If that's true, then he will also be hurt by playing the unsympathetic, micromanaging boss Keith Faber in the first season of Roseanne. If anything, he'll campaign using his role in "Marie."
*****
I got a friend request on myspace from someone named "FREE IPHONE." That wouldn't be a spammer, would it?
*****
Stupid-bumper-sticker-I-saw of the day:
Fo Shizzle, God is fo Rizzle.

*****
News Briefs: Sports

MARK CUBAN GIVES SELF VOTE OF CONFIDENCE
After the stunning and historic upset at the hands of the 8th seed Golden State warriors in the first round of the 2007 NBA Playoffs, the controversial Dallas Mavericks owner gives himself a vote of confidence in a recent press conference. "We had a great regular season, but we have also had continual playoff problems spanning my entire tenure as owner. Despite this, I firmly believe that it is best for this franchise for me to continue to own it." Cuban made these comments flanked by a pile of $50 million in cash to his side. The league has responded by fining him $200,000.

May 1st, 2008:
ROGER CLEMENS STUNS BASEBALL - SIGNS WITH TORONTO FOR 2008.
"This is not about money," Clemens said during a press conference. "This is about returning to the Blue Jays, the team where I resurrected my career. After 1996, my last year with Boston, my career was in a decline. It was the two years I spent north of the border which redefined me as an upper echelon pitcher that I had been in the past." Sources close to the negotiations report that for the season, Clemens will make about $8 Million ($10 Million CDN) more than he ought to.

Official sponsor of this post:
Not sure what to get your mom or Mother's Day? Give the Lady of your life a Lady's Finger. Send her an Okragram!!!

2381

Reunion Concert

This page links to the pictures and video taken from Lipscomb University's Reunion Concert of the Chorale and Early Music Consort, directed by Dr. Gerald Moore.  This page was updated in 2013 as all of the photos were transferred to DrGeraldMoore.com

Here is how to view the photos. They have been divided into 4 different sets, which will be explained below. When you click on the link for each of the sets, you will be taken to a page of thumbnails, such as these:



Click on the thumbnail of the image you would like to enlarge. That will take you to an image this size:



If you would like to see an even larger version of the image, in the top right corner will be a link for Full Size 1600x1200

Here are the 4 sets of photos:

1) The Chorale

This set consists of Group shots of all of the Chorale on the risers, pictures of Dr. Moore conducting, Individual members of the Chorale, and a few pictures of the EMC singers in the auditorium Balcony.

2) The Early Music Consort

This set consists of pictures of the entire Consort, sections of the Consort and individual Members of the Consort.

3) Post Concert

This set includes pictures of group shots for the final song, people who spoke at the conclusion of the concert, audience pictures and pictures taken in the auditorium after the concert was over.  Also, there are pictures that were taken in Shamblin Theater at the post-Concert reception for Dr. Moore. Also included are pictures of Dr. Moore's family, the scanned concert program, and a picture of Dr. Moore and Dr. Jackson from the Breaking Ground for the Fine Arts Building ceremony.

4) Lunch before the concert

This set consists of pictures taken in the Fellowship hall for lunch before the concert started. Pictures include the men who were at the podium, the performing jazz band and vocal group, and crowd shots.

Video

I have also uploaded onto YouTube the entire concert divided into individual songs. The quality of the video isn't the best (it's close to VHS quality), but you can still get a good representation of the performance.

This Link will play all of the songs in order. If you prefer, all of the songs are listed below and you can click on any individual song to go strait to that part of the concert.

Chorale & EMC Singers:

1) Haec Dies

Chorale:

2) O Sacred Head
3) What a Friend We Have in Jesus
4) I Hear a Voice A-Prayin'

EMC with Alumni:

5) O Eyes of My Beloved
6) All in a Garden Green
7) Weep, O Mine Eyes
8) Kabak da Boynuma

EMC:

9) Amalia Rosa
10) Adio Querida
11) Damigella Tutta Bella
12) Pase el Agoa
13) Si Verias

14) Come Again, Sweet Love
15) Bak mir nit Kayn
16) The Ladies Hornpipe & Miss Sally Hunter

Chamber Pipes & EMC:

17) Igra Kolo

EMC:

18) Wai Bamba
19) Tan Buen Ganadico

Mark Godwin, Guitarist:

20) Sir Gerald Moore's Almain

EMC:

21) Maquam
22) Con el Vito

Combined Ensembles:

23) The Lord Bless You and Keep You

2045