Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Random thoughts while suffering back pain

So, I woke up on Monday to go to work, heated up some food, sat in front of the computer, and proceeded to have some of the worst back pain ever. Since then, I have been bed-ridden except for the times I have been taken to the friendly, neighborhood chiropractor. I like everyone in their office, and I have visited them for various reasons over the past 15 years, or so.

Before I left for my first visit, I expected to have to tap in to my home equity mortgage because, let's face it, medical insurance doesn't like paying for chiropractor visits. I could go to the ER for a hangnail, they'd charge $75 for an x-ray and $50 for a tetanus shot, and after a copay, insurance will cover it. A doctor could go to school for many years, and specialize in any body part, such as the uvula, and as long as that part isn't he back, it's considered a legitimate medical practice covered by insurance.

My previous medial insurance hasn't always been the best. One employer offered two plans: the bronze plan and the tin plan. They were so horrible, that I almost wanted to self insure, but in the outside chance I'd have to be fitted for an Iron lung the rest of my life, I needed something to defray one third of that cost.

My current employer's insurance offerings are a little better. I was offered the Gold plan, Platinum Plan and the Rhodium plan. It is my understanding that the Blue Cross / Blue Shield metallurgists are currently developing a Palladium plan. My first chiropractor office visit amassed a cost of $175, and before I had to consider selling a kidney, I was relieved to hear that my insurance will actually cover everything but a $10 copay. Hooray!

I can partially understand some insurance resistance to certain chiropractors. There are a few places that might try to heal rickets with foot massages, copper bracelets and beeswax candle aroma therapy. If you have a doctor like this, I strongly suggest you read into the placebo effect.

My doctor's office uses state of the art medical equipment, and to be honest, I'm not sure I really believe any of it actually works, but my doctor has been studying these techniques for a while, and I believe her competency. Plus, if my insurance is going to pay for it, and it will make me feel better, bring it on. I have been suffering from a slipped disk in the lower part of my back. They told me the "traction machine" was made for this kind of thing. I just know that the technology has been adapted from some form of Medieval torture device. however, the whole time I'm in it, there's no pain, and once I'm out of it, the pain returns. (When it comes to relieve lower back trauma, NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!) The slipped disk has caused muscle swelling in the immediate area. My second treatment is shock therapy. Not really, but the Interferential therapy sends an electrical pulse through the area.

While I've been at home, I've been pretty bored, and anything other than lying down is uncomfortable. This makes the timing particularly bad because we've already packed all the fun time-wasting stuff for our upcoming move to another house. This includes all the dvd's, VHS, CDs, books and board games - everything but the computers, radio and TV. I think I've watched about 20 Law and Orders by now. I even caught an episode of Sledge Hammer. In the 80's, I never realized how stupid that show was.

I have had ample time to do two things this week:
2)Type on my laptop.
Here's what's been on my mind during the week:
In this segment, I will make fun of junk catalogs that appear in my mailbox.

Our Sweaters are so bright, you'll get a headache just by looking at it!

I have a tv show idea for PBS, or that network that runs in public schools these days that I missed out on. It would be called NUMB3RS Jr. (USA working title: Numb3rs Babies.) Here's an excerpt:

Scene: school playground
Davey: Someone on the playground stole half of Willie's grilled cheese sandwich.
Little Colby: I've spoken to the girls on the swings and they didn't see anything.
Donnie: Okay, canvas the monkey bars. If only we knew what half of a grilled cheese sandwich looks like.
Baby Charlie: I may be able to determine the shape of half of a grilled cheese sandwich using laws of geometry.
Amita: What if we construct a slice of bunny bread and replicate cutting it from the upper left corner to the lower right corner?
Donnie: Great. Keep me updated on your progress.
Young Fleinhardt: Your cooties are trivialized by the expanse of the stars.
Meg: You're so cute!
Certain Republicans who want Fred Thompson to run for President think he will be helped because of his character, New York DA Arthur Branch. If that's true, then he will also be hurt by playing the unsympathetic, micromanaging boss Keith Faber in the first season of Roseanne. If anything, he'll campaign using his role in "Marie."
I got a friend request on myspace from someone named "FREE IPHONE." That wouldn't be a spammer, would it?
Stupid-bumper-sticker-I-saw of the day:
Fo Shizzle, God is fo Rizzle.

News Briefs: Sports

After the stunning and historic upset at the hands of the 8th seed Golden State warriors in the first round of the 2007 NBA Playoffs, the controversial Dallas Mavericks owner gives himself a vote of confidence in a recent press conference. "We had a great regular season, but we have also had continual playoff problems spanning my entire tenure as owner. Despite this, I firmly believe that it is best for this franchise for me to continue to own it." Cuban made these comments flanked by a pile of $50 million in cash to his side. The league has responded by fining him $200,000.

May 1st, 2008:
"This is not about money," Clemens said during a press conference. "This is about returning to the Blue Jays, the team where I resurrected my career. After 1996, my last year with Boston, my career was in a decline. It was the two years I spent north of the border which redefined me as an upper echelon pitcher that I had been in the past." Sources close to the negotiations report that for the season, Clemens will make about $8 Million ($10 Million CDN) more than he ought to.

Official sponsor of this post:
Not sure what to get your mom or Mother's Day? Give the Lady of your life a Lady's Finger. Send her an Okragram!!!

Probably a bad idea for Mother's Day



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