Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

It's Essentially Mayonnaise; stupid with money

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I had purchased a sandwich from the people at Honey Baked Ham, and I was looking for some mayonnaise. They didn't have anything labeled mayo, but they did have some packets labeled "Savory Sauce." Pointing at it, an employee had to explain, "It's essentially mayo." I used it, but it made me suspicious. The Cumberland River is essentially water. If it actually is mayo, why don't they call it mayo?

Two theories:
1) Truth in labeling laws. It may taste like mayo, but it doesn't have actual mayo content, and by law they can't refer to it as mayo.
2) They are so full of themselves that their condiments should transcend ordinary descriptive norms. I think this is the real reason.

At least McDonald's still calls their Ketchup "Fancy Ketchup."

***

A friend and I once visited a Chili's Restaurant and were the only ones there when they opened. The hostess asked: "Smoking, non-smoking, or first available?"
I said, "It depends. What's the wait for non-smoking?"

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It's a pet peave of mine when a preacher or other religious teacher uses the word "Faithfulness" but pronounces it like "Fatefulness"

Faithful = being a good Christian by following God's plan of salvation.
Fateful = Being on the S.S. Minnow stranded on Gilligan's Island.

Preachers also tend to be more likely to say "That's very unique." Well educated men who write theological books and can read ancient Greek must be quite unique.

***

I did something stupid with money, but it's not what you think.

When the U.S. State quarter program began, I was very interested, So much that I wanted to save every single one I got. After 2 or 3 years, I needed a place to put them all. Somehow, I decided to put about $20 of them in a mostly empty candle. This was not wise.

6 years later, I don't keep every state quarter I find. I just hold onto the first 3 or 4 real shiny ones of each state I get. While packing for my upcoming move, I found this candle with all the quarters in it. Over time, the wax would sometimes heat up, and the quarters would sink. Now, they are long from being collectible quality. In fact, they're all slimy and smelly.

I hate the thought of literally throwing away money, yet I don't want to turn these into a bank or spend them in a story. Obvious solution: vending machines. At work, I wanted a soda, I dropped a quarter in the slot and it stuck to the inside of the machine.

And, so did the next one.

***

Here's my latest T-Shirt Idea:



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While looking for a new car, I went to the dealership and found a car that utilized a perpetual motion machine for its engine. The test drive went fine, but there were no brakes. I had to aim the car at the dealership and jump out the window.

***

Picture of the week: Fox's Donut Den sign

Animated Gif: Fox's Donut Den

I went across the street to the top of a parking garage and took multiple images, and combined them to make this animated image. (it should look animated. If it doesn't, the problem's on your end.) It came out the way I wanted except for the power lines.

For those of you not familiar with the Donut Den, it's been a mainstay in Green Hills for over a couple of decades, a favorite with the Lipscomb and Hillsboro High School crowd. The Owner, Mr. Fox, used to be a Lipscomb University professor until the store became so popular, he had to run it full time.


1953

2 Comments:

Blogger Will C. said...

Speaking of pet peaves, you misspelled "peeve." To be fair, I never can remember how to spell "misspell" without consulting a spell-checker or a dictionary. Google Toolbar is my new friend.

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great article. I would love to follow you on twitter.

5:21 PM  

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