Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Joy of Gatlinburg!

I promise that this is not going to become "How I spent my Summer Vacation!" I just thought I would share some of the quirky stuff I saw in Gatlinburg.

Let's get the scenic Smoky Mountain pictures out of the way.

Smokey Mountain stream Spooky Tree Mountain and Pasture scene - Seveir County, TN Mountain Rainbow Laurel falls

Now, on to the good stuff. If you're going to actually stay in Gatlinburg, you should already have a reasonable expectation of having to endure tourist trapiness. For a short while, I can live through it, and in fact, I can take pleasure in the silly things which abound.

For the rich tourist, I submit the Gatlinburg Alpaca Store!
Gatlinburg: The Alpaca Store!
Out there somewhere is a professional alpaca shaver. They take that alpaca fur and make various items, such as:
The display model costs several hundred dollars.

Our vacation was going well until this dinosaur smashed through a wall and ate us.

The Largest Calzone I've ever had
The reviews weren't kidding when they said the Calzones at "The Best Italian Restaurant" (name not changed) were the largest you've ever seen.

400 year old Mayan Artifact.
I forget if it was the Incans or the Mayans, but one of those ancient civilizations carved this guy on a Harley.

Pet for the sports enthusiast!
This Hermit Crab has street cred and mad skillz on the court!

In the wild, black bears have been known to eat their young
In the wild, Black Bears have been known to eat their young.

5 stalks = wealth (maybe)
5 stalks = wealth. I suppose that's some kind of feng shui madness, but it's not working for the shop owner, as they had to put this at half price. O, the irony.

It's not possible to declare the worts tourist attraction in Gatlinburg, but the World of Illusion has to make everyone's short list.
The Illusion: You'll wonder where your money went!
It's incredibly mystifying how they haven't changed their poster since abut 1983.If you're not quite sure which attraction I'm talking about, it's the one that has a Neo and Trinity from the Matrix life-size figure out front. A few years back, they had Captain Picard. They have a couple of neat illusions outside. You pay the $7 admission and you see a couple of neat illusions on the inside and then it's over and you're back on the street. The illusion was they were able to separate you from your money and they did it without mirrors.

Impaled apples
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Impaled apples.

The Essence of Gatlinburg
Make your own joke here.

Now, on to something that's not quite funny. In Pigeon Forge, you have the privilege to pay to see a sad animal.
See Live Bears The sad black bear in the pigeon forge bear pit Up the stairs to feed the bears
For $3, you can see a depressed black bear in a cage in a bear pit. I'm not the kind of guy that thinks all caged animals at the zoo should be freed into the wild, but at the black bear pits in Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge and Cherokee, NC, I don't believe this is the best possible home for these creatures. For an extra few dollars, you can purchase a cup of apples, but the bears don't really feel like eating. The guy at this place told me that his bears are treated better than the ones at Ober Gatlinburg. I hope that's not true but it probably is.


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