The Enviro-Happy Hippy Fortnight

Coming up in the next few days, there will be three holidays that tend to attract a similar crowd:

April 20: four-twenty
April 22: Earth Day
April 27: Arbor Day

Now, if you are not familiar with 4/20, stop reading my blog until you can familiarize yourself with this wikipedia article.

With that in mind, I submit for your approval the following bumper stickers and messages which may or may not be appropriate to affirm terra firma. You can tell I care about the Earth because some of my slogans are in blue or green! I changed the text color for the children.



You can Help eliminate Dihydrogen Monoxide!



SAVE THE PLANET!*
*Buy one planet at regular price and receive a second planet of equal or lesser value at 50% off. No rain checks.

Want Clean Air? Don't Recycle Paper!



In regards to clear cutting forests...
Don't cut it, Unless you plan to smoke it!

Say no to paper. Say No to plastic.
Only use grocery bags made of leather!

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I'm a vegetarian because I hate vegetables!

This blog post is sponsored by Al's Energy Star Compliant Hair Dryers. Al says, "It may take you twice as long to dry your hair when you get out of the shower, but your saving the planet!"

2002

Hooray! It's Tax Time!

So, I did my taxes this year. In years past, I usually averaged 4 tax documents to consider. This year, I had 9, Including this one:



Apparently, the W in W2 stands for Worthless. A company I didn't even work for in 2006 inexplicably sent me a direct deposit paycheck for $1.62 about half a year after they fired me. At the time, it was more important because my bank's checking account waves the $7 account fee if I have a direct deposit payment during the month. On the other hand, when I e-filed last week, it took me 15 minutes to fill out all of the fields online. I don't think I will be audited, but there's no need to risk it. Last year, I had a form 1099-R for the $0.17 interest I was paid by my bank for having a mostly empty savings account.

In most years, You would have had to file your taxes (or at least an extension) by the 15th. Luckily, for all you wait-til-the-last-minute types, your last minute is a couple of days later. This year, the 15th fell on a Sunday, and as you know, the government doesn't operate on Sundays because of "Separation of Church and State."

Luckily for you slackers, the overworked politicians in Washington DC have deemed April 16th to be Emancipation Day. City leaders realized they go for too long without a break between President's day and Memorial Day, so they voted for an additional day off. None of the following were qualified to be an official holiday during this span: Easter, Law Day, Arbor Day, Mother's Day, National Maritime Day, Earth Day, Loyalty Day, Jefferson's Birthday, Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day, May Day, World Water Day, April Fools Day, Administrative Professionals Day, Armed Forces Day, Cinco De Mayo, Seward's Day, Maryland Day, Truman Day, Andrew Jackson Day, Evacuation Day, Armed Forces Day, Pi Day, so they had to invent another one. Unintentionally, you are emancipated from calculating your taxes for one more day.

(Side note: April 16th this year is also Patriot's Day in Massachusetts. This day commemorates the fact that the Red Sox get a morning baseball game.)

1991

Does a Crawfish have a good Split-finger Fastball?

or are are they better with a circle-change?

Goofy photo of the week:



I went to my first Sounds game of the year and one of the ceremonial first pitches was thrown by this representative of a sponsor. The actual pitch more closely represented an Eephus.

Happy Easter