Local News Briefs
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Local sailor Popeye has been hospitalized this week with an unknown Gastrointestinal illness. Olive Oyl, speaking on behalf of Popeye was quoted as saying he has been suffering with symptoms of stomach cramps, diarrhea and kidney disease. Police have questioned a local man, Bluto, who is a known enemy of Popeye, but has continually denied any wrongdoing.
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Local Muslims are critical of recent remarks made by Pope Benedict XVI, which some feel portray Muslims as a violent religion. "Islam is a religion of Peace!" said local Muslim Achmed Mohammed, while burning an effigy of the pontiff.
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City Policemen have been told this week that they may no longer use tazers to subdue unruly suspects. Even though they are effective, use of tazers have, in some cases, caused short-term harm to individuals, such as minor burns. The cops have been requested to instead shoot and kill those who still attempt to evade the police.
Local sailor Popeye has been hospitalized this week with an unknown Gastrointestinal illness. Olive Oyl, speaking on behalf of Popeye was quoted as saying he has been suffering with symptoms of stomach cramps, diarrhea and kidney disease. Police have questioned a local man, Bluto, who is a known enemy of Popeye, but has continually denied any wrongdoing.
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Local Muslims are critical of recent remarks made by Pope Benedict XVI, which some feel portray Muslims as a violent religion. "Islam is a religion of Peace!" said local Muslim Achmed Mohammed, while burning an effigy of the pontiff.
****
City Policemen have been told this week that they may no longer use tazers to subdue unruly suspects. Even though they are effective, use of tazers have, in some cases, caused short-term harm to individuals, such as minor burns. The cops have been requested to instead shoot and kill those who still attempt to evade the police.
posted by BrentKMoore | 4:34 AM
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