Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Monday, March 03, 2008

False!

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There's one thing I hate about myspace. (ok, there's really a gazillion but none of the rest of those reasons are funny today.) They know by my profile information, that I'm a guy. I get ads targeted to guys. When my wife is logged in, she gets ads targeted to ladies. They know how to determine a target audience. So how is it so difficult to not send me ads for dating services? Not only do they know I'm a guy, they know I'm married, too. "True" is the biggest dating site advertiser on MySpace, it seems. That's why I want to fiddle with their ads. Here's a seasonal ad for the guys.



Now, here's one for the ladies.



All I added to this one was the "A Stalker" part. What inspired me about this was what appears to be blood splatter on the word "Waiting."

I spent some time in rural Tennessee this weekend here's some of what I saw.

This is quite possible the best bar-b-cue sign ever.

Ya'll come on over!!

Gainesboro, TN. The pig looks a little startled about the fact he's on fire. The sunglasses wearing chicken might be taunting the pig. Finally, the Hillbilly looks like he is exasperated having to spin such a heavy pig. Honestly, I'd never noticed that the apostrophe in Ya'll is where it is. I'd always spelled it y'all. I had to google it to confirm it as an accepted spelling. Ya'll be the judge.



I thought this was cute, albeit a bit blurry. Livingston, TN I presume.



If you were to enlarge the sign on the right by clicking on the photo, you'd see they sell Lipstick and other Mary Kay products. Studies show that most ladies buy makeup from the store with the largest missile. Byrdstown, TN



Does it help or hurt when you share a name with a controversial radio talk show host. I suppose if you're a Commie Pinko, you might seek the services elsewhere. His slogan should be "Call Michael Now!" Livingston, TN, I presume.



On the other end of the political spectrum is Carthage, TN which amazingly hasn't been renamed AlGoreVille. They've had not one, but two prominent Al Gores. On the Carthage town square is a shoe store which doubles as a Gore collectibles store. When I first visited Carthage in the early 90's this was the "Clinton-Gore" store, but now it says the "Gore Lieberman Store" on the window, although I see absolutely nothing Lieberman here. I think the best thing here is the flier in the bottom left for the Big Bill fishing lure with the tagline "The fish Don't Inhale."



While walking around the Gainesboro, TN town square, one of the old buildings was being renovated, and there was a trash can full of these old whiskey bottles. I don't drink and I have absolutely no knowledge of vintage alcoholic drinks. How old is this J.W. Dant Olde Bourbon bottle? There was a part of me that wanted to take this bottle out of the trash and sell it on ebay. I didn't partially because I knew my wife would kill me, probably for good reason. But I did check on ebay and didn't see any Dant products that appeared to be this old. I still sorta want to know how much money I gave up for not taking it. One final photo from Cookeville, TN:



Okay. Moving on.

If a pizza parlor slices their pepperoni thinner than anyone else, and uses smaller gratings of their cheese, they could advertise they use "only the finest ingredients." Maybe the worst pizza I've ever had, Itza Pizza, does that. (They're the pizza so bad, they have to remind you what your eating in the title of the establishment.)

If you were waiting to be seated at a table at a restaurant in a mostly Muslim country, would most of the reservations be under the name "Mohammad, Party of 4?"

Ghosts shouldn't wear white after labor day.

I've had several jobs where we had to fill out anonymous manager surveys, where we are told we can tell the truth good or bad about our manager without fear of repercussion. Someday, I should fill out my survey in an attempt to brown nose.
My Name is Brent Moore and my Supervisor is Reginald Stovey. He has done a better job that I thought was humanly possible. He has redefined leadership. I never knew the meaning of quality before I met him. I thought I knew what guidance met, but everything I knew changed thanks to his superior guidance. His picture should appear in the Webster's Dictionary next to the term Oversight.etc...
My current manager has at his desk a copy of the very famous how-to manager book "The One Minute Manager." I recently saw a parody of that book called "The Fifty-Nine Second Employee: How to Stay One Second Ahead of your One-Minute Manager." I just wish management would stop moving my cheese.

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28194
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8 Comments:

Blogger BrentKMoore said...

Here's my advertising bulletin on MySpace for this post:

This weekend, I got off my lazy butt and sat my lazy butt at the computer and made a few blog posts.

You can see all of them here
http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/

or specific posts for those of you prefer some, but not all of the madness

Parodies of the True Dating service ads and some of the weird stuff I saw driving around rural Tennessee backroads.


http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/2008/03/false.html

Upcoming Will Ferrell movies:

http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/2008/02/upcoming-will-ferrell-movies.html

The discombobulated ramblings of my newest fan:

http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-blogs-newest-fan.html

Celebrating Leap Day

http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/2008/02/merry-leap-day.html

KFC's Col. Sanders Museum

http://brentkmoore.blogspot.com/2008/02/col-sanders-for-senator.html

There's something for everyone and that possibly includes You! Missiles! Politics! Bourbon! Stuntbikes! Bobble heads, Muscle cars and deleted naughty words! Stop by while it's still free to the public.

or if you're bored on a Monday.

Brent

3:45 AM  
Blogger BrentKMoore said...

Referrenced on Nashville is Talking

http://www.nashvilleistalking.com/2008/03/03/myspace-ads/

3:18 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Okay, I used to spell y'all..ya'll till someone e-mailed me and told me I was wrong. I knew I wasn't stupid!
sj

4:09 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

Brent, you are seriously one of the funniest people I know.

Okay, it is indeed y'all...Texans are not wrong about this.

Next, I am really surprised you didn't comment about the state the Bar-B-Que the pig was in!! I mean, look at how he is ATTACHED to the spit! The pole goes through his...(ahem)hiney..and comes out his mouth! HA HA HA HA HA

3:44 PM  
Blogger BrentKMoore said...

Wow, I'd never noticed where the pole was going in...

4:11 AM  
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