Brenternet (The World as seen by Brent Moore)

Trying to appeal to the highest common denominator. I can't give you 110% effort, but I will give you 107.4% effort. If you're a spammer and leave me a comment, I will make fun of you. I use twice as many semicolons compared to most other bloggers

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Location: Smyrna, Tennessee, United States

As the title implies, I am Brent K. Moore. I married MariLynn Simons on Sept. 25, 1999. we attend Stewart's Creek Church of Christ. We have five pets, a dachshund, Slinkie, a malamute, Juno, and three rabbits, Ebunny and Ifurry, and now Houdini.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Laughable spam of the day

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Every single spam / scam is laughable. I'm just in a mood today to make fun of one of them. They all have essentially the same mistakes. The content of the email is unchanged. My comments are in bold.

Right off the bat, we know they're a Cable modem subscriber from the Austin, TX area.
Subject: Microsoft Award Notification!!!
Yipee! How'd they know I use Microsoft products?

Microsoft Award Team.
I hope I win "Best XP user" or "Coolest Powerpoint designer"
Windows house, 4 Trent road
I wonder how often the Windows House crashes? Ha hahahahahahahahahaha.
Sutton, Greater. London SM1 4te.
United Kingdom.
That's the London, United Kingdom just outside of Austin, TX.

Dear Beneficiary,
I'm impressed they spelled that correctly.

Batch number......................YM09102XN
I just googled the above line. Amazingly 39 other people out there have gotten this batch number and posted it to their blog. Let's make it 40.
Reff number.......................YM35447XN
Winning number....................YM0988

This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of One Million
Great Britain Pound Sterlings(£1,000,000.00) for the month of January
2008 Lottery promotion which is organized by MICROSOFT LOTTERY INC &
This is how the Microsoft Lottery works: You pay about $300 for the latest copy of Windows, Install it, and then see if you are the lucky winner of a working computer.

MICROSOFT WINDOWS collects all the email addresses of people that
are active online,
and you feared the patriot act!
among the millions that subscribed to INTERNET
Hey, that's me. I subscribed to INTERNET!
we only select five people every Month as our winners through electronic
balloting System without the winner applying,we congratulate you for
being one of the people selected.
I demand a recount of last Month.

Contact him, (who?) please provide him (who?) with your batch number BATCH:
YM09102XM and your reference number REF NO: YM35447XM
I have a Reff number. Can I use that instead?

You are also advised to provide him (who?) with the under listed information as soon as possible:
Before I start looking for the under listed information, I will take your advisory into account.

Claims Requirements:
1.Name in full-----------
c/o Austin Police Dept.
718 E 8th St.
Austin, TX 78701
I'm from the Principality of Sealand
How dare you ask such things!
5. Sex ---------------------
Yes! OK, that's an old immature joke.
I make fun of spammers
Sony Ericsson Z710 - no fax machine.
8.Present Country--------------------
9.Email Adress-----------
I thought you already knew this! That's how you knew to contacted me in the first place. It's
10. Batch And Reff Number---------
Thank goodness you asked for a Reff Number. I have one of those. It's YM35447XN. Do you need my winning number for anything?

Claims Agent: Sir Darren Ferguson.
Oh, it's a knighted soccer player!
.hk is Hong Kong. So it's the London outside of Austin in Hong Kong. Got it.

Congratulations once more.
Thank You
You have been most faithful in this discourse!
Miss Gene Tree.
I think you missed the smart gene when you fell out of the Gene tree.
Zone Co-ordinator.
You must be one of two people who ordinates in this zone.
Copyright © 2008 Microsoft Award Promo. All Rights Reserved.
So, do you think that technically the spammer could sue me for copyright infringement by posting the entire text of the email to my blog? I suppose I could claim that I have a derivative work. I suggest you go ahead and contribute to my legal defense fund.

I won't go through the whole thing, but here's another one from today:

From: Hsong Holdings Limited []
Dear Sir/madam,
I am the GBM (stands for Great Big Moron) (Chairman) of Chen Hsong Holdings Limited This Company was Established since 1958. I'm not stupid! I was Born since 1977. After half a century of endless efforts, Chen Hsong has grown from a small machinery workshop to one of the largest manufacturers of injection moulding machines in the world. best I can tell, the spammer here is using a real Chairman and company's name. I suppose every CEO of a large injection moulding manufacturer has time to send out mass distributed recruitment letters to random individuals. Chen Hsong Holdings Limited, Produces, Exclusivecircular platen(patended) (huh?), ichen shop- floor Networked management system (sounds complicated), Ductile iron casting andmachining (must be painful), Jetmaster MKIV series (is this a Bible translation?), jetmaster C Series (how many jetmasters can there be?) , E.T.C. Due to long association with our suppliers and our thorough understanding of the working condition in the Industry;
That's very bold of you to end the paragraph with a semicolon.

Thanks in anticipation.
Your welcome in expectancy.
Dr. Chiang Chen
"Desk of Chen" would make a lousy kung fu movie title.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brent, you are hilarious. You truly are.

Scott is that way,too...but you have got a gift. And for $300 I will send you a nice card telling you so.

Congratulations on winning my approval!

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... is now sending a goodwill message,the lottery stunt must not have worked!

Friday, January 18, 2008
Dear friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains. My name is Mr.Joel Smith, a merchant in London, but taking treatment in Dubai, in the U.A.E. now I have been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring for my health. It has defiled all form of medicine and right now,

I have only about a few months to live according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

Recently, I use to say to my self that if God should give me a second chance I would have live it differently way from how I have lived. I was meditating on my hospital bed and something told me that God is giving me a second chance by keeping me alive though doctors said I won’t last long. I know my time is near, that’s why I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as some few close friends.

I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, London and Ireland. And I have also met two people on the net who have helped me distribute money to charity organizations in their country. Now my health is deteriorating so badly,

I really need you to help me distribute the last of my fortune. You might be wondering why I did not ask my close relatives to pick over this task. But I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money, which I have there to charity organizations in Bulgaria ; they closed the account but refused to donate the money to the organizations, some of them even fled away with some of the money while the rest shared the remaining money among themselves.

From the way they are acting around me tells that they want me dead so that they can take over my
inheritance. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be content with what I have left for them. The last of my money which is a huge cash deposit that I have with a security firm abroad will be put in your care if only you will agree.

I want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I Joel Smith that is making this generous donation. I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed where I wait for my time to come.

I pray for you to support and assist me with a good heart. But the choice is yours Please you can contact me through this email address:

Be blessed my beloved,

Joel Smith.

1:58 AM  
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5:18 AM  
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1:15 PM  

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