I met Yoda over the weekend
My wife is learning martial arts, and last weekend, her school and others from the area had a banquet. After the banquet, some of the people there gave demonstrations of their art.
There was an old man there, who must have been a master, or a 10th-level black sash or something, who had the respect of everyone else. He is a frail old man, he had trouble standing, didn't talk very loud and could only walk with the assistance of his wife. I happened to go to the bathroom while he was in there and he was unable to close the stall door after trying for a few minutes.
Yet, if he had too, he could kill me and everyone else who's reading this blog.
On TV, you may have seen the demonstrations where the kung fu guy breaks several blocks of wood with his fist. This man had some of his prize students with him. One of these prize students broke four blocks of wood with his hand. The next demonstration was called "Cotton Stomach" which involved another student just standing there while the guy who just broke the blocks punches him in the gut. The punch to the gut happened. The student who was just standing there was still standing there like nothing had happened and the student that punched him recoiled in pain, stumbled a few steps backwards and fell to the ground, looking like the wind was knocked out of him.
A similar demonstration happened with the old man, except he had his back turned to his other student who hit him in the back of the shoulder, once again only to stumble backwards and fall in pain.
I forget all the Chinese names of all this stuff, but they have one secret skill that will kill people. (not demonstrated.) A recent big-budget film ended using this killing method. (movie title not given so as to not give away a spoiler. If you want to know the movie, read my first comment on this blog.) All the move does is have one person touch the other in 5 different precise places, and several seconds later the person dies of a heart attack.
*****
Here's a joke I wrote 15 years ago, but I recently discovered it as I was unpacking old boxes...
Did you hear about the autobiography about the guy who was an engineer who designed stadiums, only to lose his job, but ended up getting a better job doing something else?
It's called "No More Tiers"
*****
New T-Shirt added to our store.
FRONT:
BACK:
This T-shirt is made from 100% cotton with other ingredients. colors available are black and midnight gray. Sizes are L, M, S, XS and 2XS. The cost is $28.95 plus tax and shipping & handling & post & parcel. They're really hot when they come off the press, so we charge an extra dollar for handling. They're available on our online store, or you can visit our recently expanded gift shop, located inconveniently downtown at the corner of 4th and Broad.
There was an old man there, who must have been a master, or a 10th-level black sash or something, who had the respect of everyone else. He is a frail old man, he had trouble standing, didn't talk very loud and could only walk with the assistance of his wife. I happened to go to the bathroom while he was in there and he was unable to close the stall door after trying for a few minutes.
Yet, if he had too, he could kill me and everyone else who's reading this blog.
On TV, you may have seen the demonstrations where the kung fu guy breaks several blocks of wood with his fist. This man had some of his prize students with him. One of these prize students broke four blocks of wood with his hand. The next demonstration was called "Cotton Stomach" which involved another student just standing there while the guy who just broke the blocks punches him in the gut. The punch to the gut happened. The student who was just standing there was still standing there like nothing had happened and the student that punched him recoiled in pain, stumbled a few steps backwards and fell to the ground, looking like the wind was knocked out of him.
A similar demonstration happened with the old man, except he had his back turned to his other student who hit him in the back of the shoulder, once again only to stumble backwards and fall in pain.
I forget all the Chinese names of all this stuff, but they have one secret skill that will kill people. (not demonstrated.) A recent big-budget film ended using this killing method. (movie title not given so as to not give away a spoiler. If you want to know the movie, read my first comment on this blog.) All the move does is have one person touch the other in 5 different precise places, and several seconds later the person dies of a heart attack.
*****
Here's a joke I wrote 15 years ago, but I recently discovered it as I was unpacking old boxes...
Did you hear about the autobiography about the guy who was an engineer who designed stadiums, only to lose his job, but ended up getting a better job doing something else?
It's called "No More Tiers"
*****
New T-Shirt added to our store.
FRONT:
BACK:
This T-shirt is made from 100% cotton with other ingredients. colors available are black and midnight gray. Sizes are L, M, S, XS and 2XS. The cost is $28.95 plus tax and shipping & handling & post & parcel. They're really hot when they come off the press, so we charge an extra dollar for handling. They're available on our online store, or you can visit our recently expanded gift shop, located inconveniently downtown at the corner of 4th and Broad.
posted by BrentKMoore | 1:45 PM
5 Comments:
The movie that uses the five-touch instant heart attack is Kill Bill Vol.2
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