Brent answers his fan mail!
Dear The World as seen by Brent Moore,
I would like to erect a statue of Brent at a nearby park, but I have yet to find a public park willing to have this statue. Any suggestions?
--Sculptor in Sevierville
Wow! What an honor. If you are unable to find public space to erect such a statue, I suggest you take the money you would have spent on me and write me a check. Then for free, you can work on developing a Wikipedia page about me.
Dear Winner!
We wish to inform you that your entry number 3144294030720 was selected the winner of the U.K. National Lottery and you have won a sum of £ 20,000,00.00 (GBP). Please write us back at this alternate email address so that we can transfer the funds into your checking account. UKLotteryWinner2007@Hotmail.co.uk
Woohoo! I've won! I'm rich! I'll quit my job! I'll pay off my mortgage! I'll buy every family member a Bentley!
Wait.
I didn't play the U.K. Lottery this week.
or ever.
or any lottery.
ever.
Dear Brent,
Have you decided yet if you will run for President? If so, when will you announce it to the American public?
--Conrad at DraftBrent.Org
As you know, I have formed an exploratory committee to determine the level of support within the American people for my candidacy. I have made a decision but I cannot tell you what that decision is at this point. I have already told the producers of Law & Order that I will not be back for next season, and I have other commitments I have to settle first.
Dear Kind Person,
My name is Ms. Mary-ann Swanson. I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have to you. I was diagnosed for cancer for 2 years ago. I have none children right now and after finding you on the internet, I know that you will help the less privilege and widows. I have been abundantly blessed and wish to donate a sum of 5 million dollars to you. I cannot take telephone calls due to my health status. Please contact my lawyer at jameswallacepeterlawfirm@yahoo.ng to make financial arrangements.
Wow. That's unfortunate. Sucks to be you.
Dear The World as Seen by Brent Moore,
Can I have an Autographed Photo?
--Scruffy Beard Lover in Pegram
Yes. Send me a Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelope large enough to hold an 8x10. Then, in a few years when I'm famous enough to have autographed 8x10s, you'll be first in line to have it returned.
Now, on to other minutiae:
*********
While I was writing the above, I searched Wikipedia for Brent Moore and this is what came up.
********
I went to a nearby Chinese restaurant today and ordered the Pu-Pu Platter. Sometimes I think that those who move here and open up restaurants with funny named food items know exactly what they mean. They just want to see what they can get gullible Americans to say. I am going to stop typing for about 5 minutes to eat a chicken-on-a-stick. Mmmm, Tasty!
********
I found out this week that one of my co-workers used to live near lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg which was renamed to Lake Webster.
********
Thanks to Eric for finding this: The City of Carter Lake, Iowa. is in an odd place. Specifically, it's in the middle of Omaha, Nebraska. Here's the reason why.
I would like to erect a statue of Brent at a nearby park, but I have yet to find a public park willing to have this statue. Any suggestions?
--Sculptor in Sevierville
Wow! What an honor. If you are unable to find public space to erect such a statue, I suggest you take the money you would have spent on me and write me a check. Then for free, you can work on developing a Wikipedia page about me.
Dear Winner!
We wish to inform you that your entry number 3144294030720 was selected the winner of the U.K. National Lottery and you have won a sum of £ 20,000,00.00 (GBP). Please write us back at this alternate email address so that we can transfer the funds into your checking account. UKLotteryWinner2007@Hotmail.co.uk
Woohoo! I've won! I'm rich! I'll quit my job! I'll pay off my mortgage! I'll buy every family member a Bentley!
Wait.
I didn't play the U.K. Lottery this week.
or ever.
or any lottery.
ever.
Dear Brent,
Have you decided yet if you will run for President? If so, when will you announce it to the American public?
--Conrad at DraftBrent.Org
As you know, I have formed an exploratory committee to determine the level of support within the American people for my candidacy. I have made a decision but I cannot tell you what that decision is at this point. I have already told the producers of Law & Order that I will not be back for next season, and I have other commitments I have to settle first.
Dear Kind Person,
My name is Ms. Mary-ann Swanson. I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have to you. I was diagnosed for cancer for 2 years ago. I have none children right now and after finding you on the internet, I know that you will help the less privilege and widows. I have been abundantly blessed and wish to donate a sum of 5 million dollars to you. I cannot take telephone calls due to my health status. Please contact my lawyer at jameswallacepeterlawfirm@yahoo.ng to make financial arrangements.
Wow. That's unfortunate. Sucks to be you.
Dear The World as Seen by Brent Moore,
Can I have an Autographed Photo?
--Scruffy Beard Lover in Pegram
Yes. Send me a Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelope large enough to hold an 8x10. Then, in a few years when I'm famous enough to have autographed 8x10s, you'll be first in line to have it returned.
Now, on to other minutiae:
*********
While I was writing the above, I searched Wikipedia for Brent Moore and this is what came up.
********
I went to a nearby Chinese restaurant today and ordered the Pu-Pu Platter. Sometimes I think that those who move here and open up restaurants with funny named food items know exactly what they mean. They just want to see what they can get gullible Americans to say. I am going to stop typing for about 5 minutes to eat a chicken-on-a-stick. Mmmm, Tasty!
********
I found out this week that one of my co-workers used to live near lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg which was renamed to Lake Webster.
********
Thanks to Eric for finding this: The City of Carter Lake, Iowa. is in an odd place. Specifically, it's in the middle of Omaha, Nebraska. Here's the reason why.
2807
posted by BrentKMoore | 5:08 PM
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