One place you can expect global warming

HELL (AP) - According to some published reports, Hell is getting hotter. "100,000 years ago, when I first got here, the average daily temperature was 1,247 degrees," said well-known scientist and atheist during his life on Earth Boylin Jacoby, from his lake of fire. "Today, the average temperature is 1,288 degrees and hitting 1,300 happens a lot more frequently than it used to. We are going to be here for a long time, and this is a trend that should not continue. Global warming is real this time, and we need to find a way to stop it," he added while weeping and gnashing his teeth.

With no lack of rock musicians in Hell, many of them are organizing benefit concerts synchronized around all the depths of Hell to bring awareness to the problem and let all the lost souls know what they can do to help. There is also no lack of politicians in Hell and they have organized to draft motions and petitions calling on Satan to alter his policies to allow temperatures to fall.

In response to these outcries, Satan responded by saying, "There's not a snowball's chance of that happening." and he proceeded to raise the thermostat to 1,400.

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